IGotoSeekaGreatPerhaps

五年前，高中生的我在数学课上埋头读这本书，哭到不能自已。今天，在异国他乡的我坐在书桌前看到最后一集那幕ForAlaskaYoung的时候，再一次哭到不能自己。我理解很多人说的绿叔叔的书“空洞得令人难以置信”，“quirky白主角傻白甜恋爱”。但是怎么说呢，生活不是一直高深的，偶尔能借这种小清新鸡汤文艺片能带领你宣泄一下被现实生活压迫的眼泪，心情还是很舒畅的。而且我感觉看片就像time/spacetravel，借着别人的视角感受他们的生活，体会一番酸甜苦辣，剧终后再从中完美脱身，感慨自己现实生活的美好，不也算是一种庆幸舒畅嘛。更况且这片有跌宕的情节（虽然稍稍狗血）有搞笑的场景，有每个人独特个性的展现，精致的镜头等等，所以绝对不能说是烂片。我一开始觉得没啥好看，觉得演员不够好看，甚至还觉得有些小小失望。转折的契机是考完试无聊准备开始快进看，然后开始看到他们的各种prank就觉得wow真的拍出来了！读书的时候只能自己脑海里想象，很多放鞭炮奔跑eagle的doomedlook都需要自己不断的去想象，但是现在全都展现在眼前，和记忆里的场景重合错开再重合，觉得真的好感慨好不可思议。于是就开始继续好好看下去了。跟原著很像，很像很像。所以我好喜欢，有种重回很久很久以前记忆的感觉。不过场景拍摄真的超棒超美（可以看下绿叔叔channel里随便拍的culvercreek就感觉就很乡村小学）；然后选角虽然看上去都是一般长相，但是看久了就觉得很青春很美很pure；soundtrack也超赞，和各种阳光慢镜头非常搭。最后附上pudge的essay：“BeforeIgothere,Ithoughtforalongtimethatthewayoutofthelabyrinthwastopretendthatitdidnotexist,tobuildasmallself-sufficientworldinabackcorneroftheendlessmazeandtopretendthatIwasnotlost,buthome.Butthatonlyledtoalonelylifeaccompaniedonlybythelastwordsofthealready-dead,soIcameherelookingforaGreatPerhaps,forrealfriendsandamore-than-minorlife.AndthenIscrewedupandTheColonelscrewedupandTakumiscrewedupandsheslippedthroughourfingers.Andthere’snosugar-coatingit:shedeservedbetterfriends.Whenshefuckedup,allthoseyearsago,justalittlegirlterrifiedintoparalysis,shecollapsedintotheenigmaofherself.AndIcouldhavedonethat,butIsawwhereitledher.SoIstillbelieveintheGreatPerhaps,andIcanbelieveinitinspiteofhavinglosther.BecauseIwillforgether,yes.Thatwhichcametogetherwillfallapartimperceptiblyslowly,andIwillforget,butshewillforgivemyforgetting,justasIforgiveherforforgettingmeandtheColonelandeveryonebutherselfandhermominthoselastmomentsshespentasaperson.Iknownowthatsheforgivesmeforbeingdumbandscaredanddoingthedumbandscaredthing.Iknowsheforgivesme,justashermotherforgivesher.Andhere’showIknow:Ithoughtatfirstthatshewasjustdead.Justdarkness.Justabodybeingeatenbybugs.Ithoughtaboutheralotlikethat,assomething’smeal.Whatwasher-greeneyes,halfasmirk,thesoftcurvesofherlegs-wouldsoonbenothing,justthebonesIneversaw.Ithoughtabouttheslowprocessofbecomingboneandthenfossilandthencoalthatwill,inmillionsofyears,beminedbyhumansofthefuture,andhowtheywouldheattheirhomeswithher,andthenshewouldbesmokebillowingoutofsmokestack,coatingtheatmosphere.Istillthinkthatsometimes,thinkthatmaybe“theafterlife”isjustsomethingwemadeuptoeasethepainofloss,tomakeourtimeinthelabyrinthbearable.Maybeshewasjustmatter,andmattergetsrecycled.ButultimatelyIdonotbelievethatshewasonlymatter.Therestofhermustberecycledtoo.Ibelievenowthatwearegreaterthanthesumofourparts.IfyoutakeAlaska’sgeneticcodeandyouaddherlifeexperiencesandtherelationshipsshehadwithpeople,andthenyoutakethesizeandshapeofherbody,youdonotgether.Thereissomethingelseentirely.Thereisapartofhergreaterthanthesumofherknowableparts.Andthatparthastogosomewhere,becauseitcannotbedestroyed.Althoughnoonewilleveraccusemeofbeingofasciencestudent,onethingIlearnedfromscienceclassesisthatenergyisnevercreatedandneverdestroyed.AndifAlaskatookherownlife,thatisthehopeIwishIcouldhavegivenher.Forgettinghermother,failinghermotherandherfriendsandherself-thoseareawfulthings,butshedidnotneedtofoldintoherselfandself-destruct.Thoseawfulthingsaresurvivable,becauseweareasindestructibleaswebelieveourselvestobe.Whenadultssay,“Teenagersthinktheyareinvincible,”withthatsly,stupidsmileontheirfacestheydon’tknowhowrighttheyare.Weneedneverbehopeless,becausewecanneverbeirreparablybroken.Wethinkthatweareinvinciblebecauseweare.Wecannotbebornandwecannotdie.Likeallenergy,wecanonlychangeshapesandsizesandmanifestations.Theyforgetthatwhentheygetold.Theygetscaredoflosingandfailing.Butthatpartofusgreaterthanthesumofourpartscannotbeginandcannotend,andsoitcannotfail.SoIknowsheforgivesme,justasIforgiveher.ThomasEdison’slastwordswere,“It’sverybeautifuloverthere.”Idon’tknowwherethereis,butIknowit’ssomewhere,andIhopeit’sbeautiful.”-Miles‘Pudge’Halter